


Never Resting

by BlueCatRedFox



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Anxiety, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6302116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueCatRedFox/pseuds/BlueCatRedFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danse is becoming increasingly withdrawn.  Sole takes him on a mission to try and help, but it may end up making things worse.  Based on a tumblr prompt of Sole comforting post Blind Betrayal PTSD Danse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Mission

Danse knew what he wanted to do. The modification he wanted to make to the laser rifle on the bench in front of him. He knew how, and had the materials necessary, but for some reason inspiration wasn't there. His usual zeal just wouldn't rise to the surface. 

Picking the gun up he turned it over in his hands. Why even bother making it better? It would just be damaged, or broken, or lost, and he didn't really require a better weapon. He sighed and set it back down. Again having some desire to make that first cut, but being unable to bring himself to start. 

“Danse?” A recognizable voice called him from behind.

Relief washed over him. Maybe they needed him for something. He turned to greet Sole, “What have you got for me today?” 

Sole glanced at his weapon on the bench. They had watched him go to that workstation every few days for the last week or so. He'd mull around it, look his laser rifle over a couple of times, and then he'd leave. Disappearing on his own for most of the day. Sole was worried about him. 

“Word has just come from Abernathy Farm, they need us. Are you available to go?” Sole asked. 

“Affirmative.” Quick to respond, the ex-paladin perked up with the offer of a mission. “Allow me to acquire my power armor and some spare fusion cells and I'll be ready at once.” He grabbed his rifle off the bench and strode past Sole. A confident look set across his rugged features. They watched him disappear into the garage before following behind, also needing to retrieve their suit. 

The duo prepared in silence. It took only a few minutes but felt much longer to Sole, who spent most of it watching Danse out of the corner of their vision. 'He'll be okay,' they had convinced themselves time and time again, and yet he wasn't getting better. He was avoiding the others more than usual, and offering himself up for solo missions more often. It was the one of the reasons Sole asked him along as much as possible these days. They were afraid if they left without him that they may return to hear he'd gotten himself hurt, or worse. 

Danse was difficult to see through. Especially when it came to the matter of his emotions. Some he wore on his sleeve, others he buried deep, and some of his scars he would never reveal. Not even to Sole. 

The power armor beeping to life as it booted up woke Sole from their thoughts. 

“All systems are go. You set to head out Danse?” 

“Ready and waiting for your command, Paladin.” He sounded almost excited.

Sole sighed quietly. They always felt uncomfortable when he called them that. “Right. Let's get going then.” 

They turned away from their home and headed south of Sanctuary Hills, to the small farm under the old steel giants. The air was crisp with a New England breeze. 'New England,' Sole laughed a quiet bitterness to themselves. This was no longer even Massachusetts, let alone anything else, just the Commonwealth now. They pushed the feeling back down, now was not the time to muse on the past, there was a job to be done.  
The march over was quick and uneventful. Lucy must have been watching for them because they heard her voice call out as they approached. Connie came running out of the house seconds after, a desperate look on her face. 

“They took him! Please you've got to help! They took Blake!” She was yelling. Her voice cracking as she tripped over a rock just barely catching herself and scrambling to them. 

Sole's eyebrows knit together. “Connie, who took Blake?” They asked as the sun worn blonde came to a stumbling halt in front of them. 

“Mutants,” her voice again wavering. “The big, ugly, dumb bastards attacked us last night when we slept. We were almost too late, just barely managing to hide before they burst through the door.” She exhaled, and closed her eyes for a split second. “But they had one of those damn hounds with them and- and it caught Lucy's scent. They would have found her if it hadn't been for Blake, he jumped out at them. Lord knows why they didn't just cut him down, but instead of murder him they dragged him out, and I don't know if he's even still alive, but you have to find him.” her words shaking at the end. “Please find him,” she began tearing up, but still did not give in. 

Lucy walked up behind Connie and put an arm around her shoulders, “it'll be okay mom.” She said, squeezing lightly. 

Sole felt their heart ache for them. The wasteland could be a horrible place always trying to tear people apart. “Don't worry, we'll get him back,” Sole promised in their kindest, most reassuring, tone. 

“Those super mutants will be dealt with, Mrs. Abernathy.” Danse's stern voice full of a comforting strength. He had seen situations like this too many times. 

Connie managed a nod before walking back to the farmhouse with Lucy. 

Sole gave Danse a concerned look, they hated when settlers went missing. It was always uncertain if they'd be able to bring back any remnant of the person, let alone a living, breathing, unscathed human. However, there was no time to linger in worry. They left immediately. 

Striking up a good pace Sole and Danse traveled in silence through the dead woods. Branches snapping under their heavily armored footfalls. 

Even with his focus honed on the critical mission at hand. Danse felt more at ease than he had in days. He stared at the back of Sole's power armor ahead of him. It wasn't just the mission. Sole themselves brought him some level of comfort. They were someone he could be himself in front of more than any other person. He was honest with everyone but there was a difference between honesty and weakness. Sole had seen some of his weaknesses, the real him, and somehow still wanted him around. For even that alone they deserved his loyalty. 

Crossing an old road Sole slowed to allow Danse to come up, even with them, before continuing their brisk pace. “So, Danse.” Sole glanced at him to their side. “What were you planning to do with your laser rifle before I interrupted you?” 

Danse was quiet for a moment. Despite their acceptance of him if Sole knew he was declining they might think twice before bringing him on missions. “I was hoping inspiration would find me,” Danse gave a half-truth. 

Sole nodded shallowly. “Well, you know if you ever need me to, I'd be glad to help with anything at all.” They put on a smile. 

“Thank you. I appreciate your offer.” Danse looked ahead sweeping the landscape for movement. Wishing in some way that he could take them up on it, but knowing there was no way he wanted them to see him fumble through another failed attempt.


	2. Medford Memorial Hospital

It took most of the day but they tracked the super mutants to Medford Memorial Hospital. A good distance to the east of Abernathy Farm. The small posting of mutant guards outside proving little issue for the experienced team. 

Entering the dilapidated building they found themselves alone. “I don't like this,” Danse said as he scanned the area for more enemies. The silence of the large open room echoing. 

“From the looks of it, they've used this location for some time. It's fortified with defenses, decked with their usual grotesque provisions, but much too easy to infiltrate.” He shifted his laser rifle in his hands as he pivoted around. Nothing. Not even a creak or groan from the old structure itself. 

“Lets concentrate on finding Blake for now. We'll worry about where the green-skins might be after he's safe.” Sole walked ahead delving into the dark and erratic shadows. Hallways blinking with dull flickering lights. 

Danse wanted to say something about ambushes and rushing in without thinking it through, but Sole was already too far ahead. Begrudgingly he lumbered into the unknown behind them. 

It was their concern for Blake that drove Sole forward at a foolishly quick pace. The Abernathy's were good friends. They had supported the Minutemen from the start for only a small gesture of kindness. Getting Blake back to his already fractured family was unquestionable. They knew their decision to press forward quickly wouldn't sit easy with Dasne, but they didn't have the time to investigate this one with their usual caution. 

It wasn't long before they found their way onto the upper floor. The locked door at the top crumpling like foil beneath Sole's powered fist. The sharp crack and rattle of metal thundering through the silence of the place. 

“Stop foolishly risking our position.” Danse chastised them, “You know how to pick locks. I have seen you do so many times. This was unnecessary.” He frowned looking at the crumpled door. Normally he would not have minded such a show of force, maybe he would even encourage it, but when it put him and his team in jeopardy it was another thing entirely. 

“Yeah, but this is faster and I was hoping they would give themselves away if they heard us.” Sole knew he was right but persisted anyway. 

“They'll certainly hear us coming if you keep this type of tactic up. There is no need for such foolishness.” His voice showing irritation at Sole's disregard. 

Sole's mouth was open to respond when a pained scream echoed down the hall. Danse's head whipped around to look towards where it had come from and Sole broke into a run almost instantly. 

Sprinting down the hall they didn't stop when they reached the doorway at the end. Even as Danse bellowed out an order for them to halt. Sole smashed through the double doors with the force of their speed. One door buckled and bent inwards. The other detaching completely from its hinges and flying end over end into the room, smashing into a medical cart and scraping to a stop. 

Stumbling as they barreled into the room, Sole caught themselves just in time, and righted their footing. Rifle aimed they swept it around, scanning for enemies as the dust settled. Instead of the green horde, that they had expected to find, there was Blake strapped to a gurney in the center of the room. A larger than average super mutant stood over him holding a weapon that Sole didn't recognize. 

“Blake!” Sole raised their gun to fire on the mutant but Danse had finally caught up to them. His hand hauling down the barrel of their firearm as he yelled, “Stop!” The super mutant flashing a wicked smile when he did so. 

“What are you doing, Danse?!” Sole tried to wrest their weapon from his grasp. 

“Please! For the love of god shoot it!” Yelled Blake as he struggled against his bindings. 

However, Danse wasn't looking at Sole or even at Blake. His gaze was completely fixated, “You can't shoot. Not unless you want to risk exposing us all. That's FEV in that thing's hand. If it breaks open we could all be infected.”

Sole stopped struggling and stared. “Does it even work that way?” They said, a tinge of anxiety in the pitch of their voice.

Hearing Danse's words Blake began to panic, “Oh god, no. Please, you've got to stop this!”

“I don't know, but I'm not willing to take that chance.” Danse stated plainly still staring at the creature and its possession. He had been here before. In this same situation. Only before it was Cutler kneeling in front of him with a syringe at his neck. He could still see the mutant's crooked yellow smile as it injected his brother. Cutler's wretched screams when the FEV burned through his veins. The popping of joints and the tearing of his flesh as his body reconfigured itself. All the while that shrieking howl rupturing from Cutler's throat. The same one that, to this day, Danse still heard in every dream-filled slumber.

“Danse!” The shouting of his name brought him back. Sole was again struggling against his hold on their weapon. “We've got to do something! We can't just let this happen!”

Blake's pleading had deteriorated into unintelligible screaming as the mutant moved to inject him. His body trying in vain to yank itself away.

Danse couldn't move though. He wanted to react but his body wouldn't listen. It was happening all over and he was powerless to stop it.

“Damn it!” Sole gave up and dropped their rifle. Leaving it in Danse's grasp. They lunged towards the mutant as fast as they could but they were too slow in their heavy armor. Careening into the monster seconds after it jammed the needle into Blake. Tears streaming down their face inside their helmet they knew what had happened, but couldn't bring themselves to even look at Mr. Abernathy. They had failed him. 

Anger overflowed and Sole took it out on the green-skin. Pummeling it's face with their fists. Destroying its head with unnecessary force. The punches making wet sucking noises as they crushed through its skull and into the gray matter beyond.

Danse watched it all like he was seeing an old movie. The timing of the movements inaccurate and gestures blurred. Blake's body arching in slow motion with excruciating pain. Sole's bloody fists coming into view as they reeled back over and over to extract a revenge too late. He couldn't feel his physical self. It was numb, but somehow he was still tormented internally with a panicking dread. 

A hair-raising howl rang through the room and glowing eyes stared out from the shadows beyond the edge of the far door. A mutant hound was only a few paces from Sole and they glared at it. They would kill it too, they would kill everything, but before Sole could move to rip into it Danse was standing behind them. 

A dead look in his eyes, he shot it in the throat, and then in the jaw. Firing rounds into it until it dropped with a thud. All the while Blake's rasping shrieks continued ripping through the air. 

More mutants were moving in. Where they had been Sole didn't know but they watched them come. What had once been dogs and men were now demons descending upon them. 

The paladin who was immovable as stone only moments ago suddenly lurched into combat. His lifeless fury pacifying Sole's rage. They could only watch as he destroyed every enemy that came at him. A soundtrack of bloodcurdling wails playing underneath it all. 

By the time it was finished, laser burnt bodies lay all around them, and Blake had gone silent. Finally passing out from the pain. Sole stood up shakily as Danse loomed over the corpse of the last super mutant he had dropped. 

They went to Blake's side. His body was distorted beyond recognition. The bindings torn apart or cutting into his flesh. Sole severed the remaining straps freeing him from the gurney. 

Danse was still again. He didn't want to turn around, but when he heard the cutting of what was surely Blake's restraints, he somehow managed. 

“We're staying until we know.” Sole's voice was empty. They gently rested a metal hand on Blake's limp arm. Longing for silence but also wishing for Danse to say something. Anything at all. 

He had failed. It was his fault all over again. Danse felt it closing around him like a vice in his chest. “I'm sorry,” his voice flat as he said the words. “It's my fault. I should have done something. I-”

Sole cut him off. “No, Danse.” They exhaled a shallow breath, “It's not your fault. The mutants are the only ones to blame here.” Their helmet felt heavy as they pulled it off and turned to him, dropping it to the floor. Hair clinging to the sweat and tears on their face. They went to him, putting their hand lightly on his shoulder. 

Danse was grateful for the unprompted comfort. “None the less I am sorry you had to witness this, and to a friend no less.” He tried to console them in return. Tending to another's needs helping him to forget his own. 

“I didn't watch,” Sole admitted to their cowardice. “But you- you saw everything. Didn't you?” They were concerned. Never before having seen him freeze in a fight like that. 

“I've seen it before.” Danse put on a good face. A sturdy facade once more, with no indication of how deeply the terror ran inside him. No inkling of how cold and dark the depths of the ocean within him flowed. If he could, he was going to be there for Sole. He would put himself between them and everything the wasteland could use against them. 

Sole knew better. It was a gut wrenching feeling. They knew he wasn't alright, that he'd keep this up until it put him down, but they didn't have any idea where to start. So, instead they just stood there with him. 

Silent hours that felt like an eternity crept by. The armored figures barely moving and never leaving each others' side.


End file.
